United!
United! kicked off on Mondays and Wednesdays from 1965
and told the story of a fictional Midlands football club,
Brentwich United. The series appeared authentic - except to
anybody who had ever been to a real match!
The genuine action from Stoke City (where actual games were
filmed) was fine, but when the actors took control it became
farcical, with crucial penalties being taken by the club's
big-money signing with all the muscular power of Larry Grayson.
The actors were said to be keen amateur players but although
Jimmy Hill was hired to vet the scripts the end result was wholly
unrealistic.
Brentwich United were supposedly languishing near the foot of
the second division when new manager Gerry Barford (David Lodge)
took over. Barford had to handle a tycoon chairman with a snooty
wife, an ingratiating club secretary, his own anxious wife and
desperately keen football-mad son, a prickly team captain (Bryan
Marshall) and a womanizing goalkeeper (Stephen Yardley),
The chairman of the supporters club was played by another soap favourite,
Arthur Pentelow from Emmerdale Farm.
At the time the series was made, Wolverhampton Wanderers were
also faltering, and they complained that the plots of United! were
too close for comfort to their own plight. The BBC assured them it
was sheer coincidence.
By February 1966 seven of the cast were dropped and new writers
were brought in to make it 'sweatier' and less cosy. The team's
woman physiotherapist was dispatched, but the BBC insisted that
bathing trunks were still worn in the after-match shower scenes.
In March, Barford was sacked (David Lodge asked to leave) and
later that year Compact pin-up
Ronald Allen was chosen as the new Brentwich manager. This
doubtless won more women supporters, but prompted cynics to wonder
if United! wouldn't become Compact in boots, with Gussie as next
goalkeeper.
In March 1967, with audiences stuck at around 6 million in the
ratings league, United! was finally placed on the transfer
list.
|
